Answer at Three Years Old
Run around
Poop and make funny noises, mostly
Throw up on my babysitter
Sometimes I eat things off the sidewalk
Answer at Five Years Old
I CONQUER THE WORLD
Answer at Ten Years Old
I don’t know
Please stop looking at my braces
Answer at Fifteen Years Old
Mostly I stand here and look pretty
I watch that guy over there a lot
mmm check my phone
Send a text
Sometimes my parents give me an allowance if I come home before 10
Answer at Eighteen Years Old
I live with my BFFs in a dorm!
Oh and I guess sometimes I’m a barista
But who cares about money
Money’s boring
Answer at Nineteen Years Old
I NEED MONEY
THAT’S WHAT I DO
Answer at Twenty Three Years Old
I work five jobs
Get thrown up on by the kids I babysit
And also sometimes people on the street with poor aim
I miss college
Yeah
That’s
That’s pretty much it
Answer at Twenty Five Years Old
I’m in grad school
Turns out I did college wrong the first time
So
Answer at Thirty Years Old
I work three jobs
Still paying off student loans and all
But mostly I just look at kids today and wonder if I was ever that insane
Like WHO DOESN’T THINK A JOB IS SOMETHING TO CARE ABOUT
BUMS
THAT’S who
Answer at Forty Years Old
I have like seven kids
Or maybe just two
They run so fast
Answer at Fifty Years Old
Yeah
I think kids have always been insane
Answer at Sixty Years Old
I heard a joke once about the retirement age being 65
ha
ha