Bingo: One Man Show Edition

 

  • Art-major in front row mutters something about how it should be called a “one person show” – let’s be politically correct here, for *#!%’s sake
  • Set = one chair
  • Actor makes very compelling eye contact with space above audience’s heads
  • Very few big musical numbers
  • Actor shouts next line to wake up a snoring audience member
  • FREE SPACE: no intermission (for fear of audience abandonment)
  • Actor’s blocking consists of very slow counter-clockwise circles, possibly with intent of hypnotizing audience
  • Audience interaction!  (bonus points if obvious plant)
  • Actor looks more alone than Anne Hathaway onstage with James Franco at the Oscars
  • Actor would probably be more compelling if onstage with James Franco at the Oscars
  • Actor asks a question of no one and appears shocked when no one answers
  • (OTHER) FREE SPACE: morale drooping!  Time to threaten audience with ye olde “I need a volunteer” trick!
  • Actor wears nondescript black clothing
  • Actor curses edgily
  • Audience members all bear a striking resemblance to Actor – may all be obliging family members
  • Actor says something eerily similar to another line ten minutes ago.  May have forgotten lines and entered endless loop of repetition
  • Actor makes joke at audience expense and receives obligatory/grudging laughter
  • Actor makes side comment about how the audience doesn’t actually want to be there.  Audience wonders how he read their minds
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