While all of us earthlings try to make sense of 2016 and stumble into the New Year, David Bowie is having one heaven of a NYE party in the skies right now.
Let’s pop up to Bowie’s Humble Space Abode, shall we?
Bowie: Hello, everyone, so glad you could all make it. You really made the grade.
Alan Rickman: By Grabthar’s Hammer, what a trip it is to get all the way up here.
Bowie: So nice of you to come, Alan. I hope my directions were clear enough?
Alan Rickman: Always.
Umberto Eco: The interpretation required a bit of work, but translation is the art of failure.
Bowie: I’m not sure what’s so hard to figure out about “Look up here, I’m in heaven.” John, so nice to see you. I’ll let Edgar know you’re here, I’m sure he’d love to catch up. Did your spaceship know which way to go?
John Glenn: Astronauts fly rockets, Bowie, but yes, all systems were go. Oh, Ms. Fisher, I didn’t see you there.
Carrie Fisher: Aren’t you a little short for an astronaut?
Meanwhile, a jam session concludes in the other room…
George Martin: Sounds great, fellas. Well, you’re not MY fab four, but you ARE a pretty fabulous foursome. Have you acquired any heavenly representation yet?
Merle Haggard: Nah. That leaves only me to blame, ‘cause Mama tried.
George Michael: No, but I have faith.
Leonard Cohen: Hallelujah.
Prince: *something quiet and purple*
George Martin: Riiight. Well, here’s my card. Don’t let Abe here try distract you with his promises, George Michael. He’s not a real agent.
Abe Vigoda: It was strictly business, Michael. I always liked you.
Leonard Cohen: Hey now, that’s no way to say goodbye.
The like-minded congregate in the library for a bit of conversation…
Harper Lee: I never thought of you as the party type, Elie.
Elie Wiesel: Meh. The opposite of love is not hate.
Harper Lee: Interesting. You know, I always say, you never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.
Kenny Baker: As someone who spent a good percentage of his time on earth in a droid costume, I sincerely appreciate that perspective.
Meanwhile, At The Bar…
Arnold Palmer: Would anyone like some refreshments? How about a tall glass of me?
Zsa Zsa Gabor: So long as it sparkles, darling, I’m perfectly content.
Gene Wilder: I’ll take a snozzberry sour, please.
Arnold Palmer: One Dream-maker, coming right up.
The dance floor is getting a little heated…
Anton Yelchin: I don’t know, Bowie, I feel a little awkward. I don’t really know anyone here.
Bowie: My dear boy, you are the youngest. I’m sorry about that. You’re quite aware of what you’re going through. I say, though, let’s dance. I’ll loan you my red shoes.
Maurice White: Let’s dance through the night and remember how the stars stole the night awayyyyyy!
Bowie: Maurice has the right idea. And Muhammad, nice moves. Is that the butterfly or the bee?
Muhammad Ali: Both.
Anton: …I’m a little intimidated. I think I’ll go stand awkwardly with Garry Shandling over there.
Gene Wilder: You’re alright, kid. Walk this way.
Bowie: Charades! I love Charades. *Takes a cigarette, puts it in Anton’s mouth, pulls on a finger, then another finger, then a cigarette* OKAY, WHO AM I? Guess!
Bowie: I’m time, Anton. I’m time.
Anton: Oh. I thought Time flexed like a whore?
Bowie: In another song he does, yes. *sigh*
George Kennedy: What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.
Patty Duke: No one likes playing this game with you, George. Okay, my turn.
George Kennedy: Hey, this woman won an Oscar for sign language! Unfair advantage!
Pictures or it didn’t happen.
Florence Henderson: Bowie, could you take a snapshot of us? We need a TV family portrait.
Alan Thicke: And afterwards we’ll chuckle about what we’ve learned.
Florence Henderson: And freezeframe!
Bowie: But of course. Smile! Turn to the left!
Doris Roberts: Can we hurry up this whole picture-taking thing? Peter’s coming by soon and I want to start nagging him the minute he gets here. Just like old times.
Gene Wilder: Oh, is that delightful monster on his way? Perhaps we can do our bit. “Where fashion sits–”
Bowie: FASHION!! Whose shirts you wear?!
Anton: Bowie, maybe you need to calm down. Let’s get you a slice of cake.
The Refreshments Table
Bowie: That’s no ordinary cake.
Debbie Reynolds: Hi boys!
Bowie: You certainly know how to make an entrance. You, you will be queen. Of this party.
Debbie Reynolds: Sounds peachy. Where’s Carrie?
Bowie: I believe she and Zsa Zsa are discussing their scandalous lives over at the bar. I say, you made it just in time, Deb. It’s very nearly the new year. Here comes the dawn.
Debbie Reynolds: But the show goes on.
Glenn Frey: You can check out any time you like…
Bowie: BUTYOUCANNEVERLEAVE, we know, Glenn, we know.
Debbie Reynolds: It sure is a nice party up here. And what a lovely morning.
Bowie: Forever and ever, Deb. What do you say?