Acronyms and Initialisms

  • Pretty, Hot And Tempting = PHAT.  Also, curvy in eye-pleasing places.
  • Boy Friend / Best Friend = BF.  Only not confusing if they are actually the same person.
  • Washington Post = WP.  An onomatopoeia; the sound of a reporter knocking the block off an unpopular interviewee.
  • None of Your Business = NYOB.  Sort of sounds like “NOPE,” but with the classic sassy mispronunciation of internet speak.  See: “Yaaaas” and similar non-word words.
  • American Jewish University = AJUimgp5846
  • Date of Birth = DOB.  Short for Dobby, the House Elf.  He probably never had a birthday party.
  • Do Not Disturb = DND.  The button you hit on your work phone to call all nearby nerds to your bad self.
  • Foreign Language Association of Georgia = FLAG.  They probably have one.
  • Electronic Personnel Action File = EPAF.  Another onomatopoeia; like getting punched by a superheroic admin, but online.
  • Be Right Back = BRB, as in, “Be right back when I learn to speak not like a burping caveman.”
  • No Problem = NP.  Not to be confused with “Nothing Personal,” “Nobel Prize,” “Now Playing,” or “No Pants.”
  • Seriously Poor Advertising Method = SPAM.
  •  American Sign Language = ASL.  Not to be confused with “Age/Sex/Location.”  That text miscommunication would not end the way anyone expects.
  • Too Long;Didn’t Read = TL;DR.  Interchangeable with IALAHTCSOAPOT (=I am Lame and Have the Concentration Span of a Piece of Toast.)
  • Today I F***** Up = TIFU.  A little-known fighting style in which nobody ever wins.
  • Short Term Disability = STD.  Remember this one so you don’t report the wrong thing.
  • Wiki-leaks Task Force = WTF.
  • Singles Awareness Day = SAD.  Not even made up.
  • Good Night with a really lousy Australian accent = gn8.
  • If I Tell You What It Means Will You Buy Me A Drink = IITYWIMWYBMAD.  Use this and sure, you’ll be a confusing jerk.  But you’ll be a confusing jerk with a drink in your hand.

    This post originally appeared on Vagabond Homebody

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