“Seriously, I am so over men.  Thinking they can beat me out of the White House.  Don’t they know I was basically already president like TWICE.”

“You were the president’s wife.”

“It’s like the same thing.”

“Oh.”

“I mean come on.  Who listens to a guy named Bill.”

“I guess.  Gods I’m glad I never married.”

“You miss out on a lot of power by being single, you know.”

“Sorry what?  I was too busy turning that dude into a stag so his hounds would eat him to hear that comment.”

“Fair point.”

“I could turn literally everyone in this bar into a stag.  Or a worm.  Or a chair.”

“Okay, okay”

“I could turn that dude into a girl.”

[Down the bar, Lorena Bobbitt takes a sip of vodka]

“Big fuckin deal.”