Every Chicagoan Novel Ever

In response to Every Californian Novel Ever by Mallory Ortberg.  Two can play at this game, missy.


  • The Serial Killer Always Rings Twice
  • Jungle Of Bricks
  • The Scent Of Pot And Piss: A Journey On The L
  • The Gunshot Nobody Heard
  • A History Of The Worst Politicians Of Ever
  • Dante Was Right And Hell Is A Frozen Wasteland
  • Fifteen Bars You’ve Probably Never Heard Of
  • The Homeless Man Under The Bridge As A Metaphor For The Human Condition
  • Fifteen Restaurants You’ve Heard Of But Can’t Afford
  • The Summer The Air Conditioning Broke Was The Summer Linda Died
  • I Know A Guy
  • Let’s Get Ethnic Food
  • What’s The Cloud Gate?
  • The Floors Are All Original
  • Life On The Rails: A Commuter’s Story
  • This Thrift Shop Seems Mysteriously Void Of Merchandise And Also Full Of Drug Dealers
  • The Killer Waits On Navy Pier
  • We Like Bricks Because Historically They Burn Less Well Than Wood
  • My Neighborhood Is Diverse And Dingy With Ill-Paved Streets And Yet We Have Whimsical Old Houses To Our Names, Or At Least Our Landlord’s Names, And We Like It That Way
  • Watch Your Step: Canadian Geese And Why We Hate Them
  • 200 Pages of Deep Dish Pizza Restaurants
  • This Neighborhood Was Much Nicer Before The [insert race of choice] Came
  • Just How Many Layers Can One Wear?

This post originally appeared on Vagabond Homebody

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