At any given point, really.

 

• A puppy stepping on another puppy

• A bad weather report

• A flat tire on his way to prom

• An emo kid with naturally straight hair

• The last Chipotle closing its doors

• The naked Muppet whose skin he stole as a cape

• The forest of spiders he has to walk through for Fear Factor

• A person informing him that he has lice and needs to shave his head

• The beach party he wasn’t invited to

• A casting list in which he is cast as Nameless Soldier #4

• The inevitable heat death of the universe

• Day-old seafood

• The stats page on his blog.  No one has read his most recent post.

• Tom Cruise

• His lucky bamboo, which has just died

• Someone double-dipping in the vegetable tray

• An animal that died under his porch but he can’t reach it, so now he just has to smell it all the time

• Someone who just took some food off his plate, and he had not offered to share

• A terrible Marlon Brando impression

• Someone who has just criticized his TOMS

• The wifi that cut just as he was about to submit a job application

• Karaoke night at the bar

• A Fun-House mirror

• His date, who just introduced him to another man as “my friend”

• A pair of mating goats

• His chai latte that just spilled

• Someone whose tie is way nicer than his

• The person at the table who actually ate the last fry the first time it was offered to them

• Someone saying “I know something you don’t know.”
  

  This post originally appeared on Vagabond Homebody