At any given point, really.
- A puppy stepping on another puppy
- A bad weather report
- A flat tire on his way to prom
- An emo kid with naturally straight hair
- The last Chipotle closing its doors
- The naked Muppet whose skin he stole as a cape
- The forest of spiders he has to walk through for Fear Factor
- A person informing him that he has lice and needs to shave his head
- The beach party he wasn’t invited to
- A casting list in which he is cast as Nameless Soldier #4
- The inevitable heat death of the universe
- Day-old seafood
- The stats page on his blog. No one has read his most recent post.
- Tom Cruise
- His lucky bamboo, which has just died
- Someone double-dipping in the vegetable tray
- An animal that died under his porch but he can’t reach it, so now he just has to smell it all the time
- Someone who just took some food off his plate, and he had not offered to share
- A terrible Marlon Brando impression
- Someone who has just criticized his TOMS
- The wifi that cut just as he was about to submit a job application
- Karaoke night at the bar
- A Fun-House mirror
- His date, who just introduced him to another man as “my friend”
- A pair of mating goats
- His chai latte that just spilled
- Someone whose tie is way nicer than his
- The person at the table who actually ate the last fry the first time it was offered to them
- Someone saying “I know something you don’t know.”
This post originally appeared on Vagabond Homebody
