A List Of Things Jon Snow Could Be Looking At

At any given point, really.

 

  • A puppy stepping on another puppy
  • A bad weather report
  • A flat tire on his way to prom
  • An emo kid with naturally straight hair
  • The last Chipotle closing its doors
  • The naked Muppet whose skin he stole as a cape
  • The forest of spiders he has to walk through for Fear Factor
  • A person informing him that he has lice and needs to shave his head
  • The beach party he wasn’t invited to
  • A casting list in which he is cast as Nameless Soldier #4
  • The inevitable heat death of the universe
  • Day-old seafood
  • The stats page on his blog.  No one has read his most recent post.
  • Tom Cruise
  • His lucky bamboo, which has just died
  • Someone double-dipping in the vegetable tray
  • An animal that died under his porch but he can’t reach it, so now he just has to smell it all the time
  • Someone who just took some food off his plate, and he had not offered to share
  • A terrible Marlon Brando impression
  • Someone who has just criticized his TOMS
  • The wifi that cut just as he was about to submit a job application
  • Karaoke night at the bar
  • A Fun-House mirror
  • His date, who just introduced him to another man as “my friend”
  • A pair of mating goats
  • His chai latte that just spilled
  • Someone whose tie is way nicer than his
  • The person at the table who actually ate the last fry the first time it was offered to them
  • Someone saying “I know something you don’t know.”

    This post originally appeared on Vagabond Homebody

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